Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
My room smells like vodka and shame
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
