either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
