Do you still have your period?
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
How's work?
Spinning.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
