its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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