come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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