I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
