the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
