At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
