I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
