but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
