I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
You are a genius and a whore.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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