you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
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