I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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