May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize