New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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