she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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