I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
We got so high we made milksteak
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
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