i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
