Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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