i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
