eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
