that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
