I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
You smell like stripper and shame
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
