How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
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