I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
