forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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