dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
ttyl tear gas
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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