we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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