For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
