Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize