i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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