I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Why can't burritos get me drunk
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
