my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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