And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
