Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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