There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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