doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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