I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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