Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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