I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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