I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
this will be a night to untag.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
