we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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