you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
