So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
