As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
