i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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