Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
