her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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