it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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