An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
