Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
