I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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