This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
