Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
sex in a hospital.. check
I just want to make out with him forever
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
