): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
