break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
