I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
