Your mouth is God's brothel.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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