She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
