not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
