i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
