That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize