Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Randomize
