Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Randomize
