I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
