Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
