I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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