It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
